Dr. Rama Kant Dawar, Psychologist and Advocate Haryana and Punjab High Court Addressing the audience during a seminar
Panipat Police organised a seminar on ‘Domestic Violence’ at Government Model Senior Secondary School, Samalkha, India’s main school campus hall. Students, faculty and staff were in attendance from the campus along with some police officials and the members of community liaisons group of the citizens of Panipat District.
In this program, the keynote speaker, Prof. Dr. Rama Kant Dawar, psychologist and advocate of Haryana and Punjab High Court and a worldwide famous inspirational speaker, addressed the students and teachers in depth regarding this social evil of society. “if there is anger in any family member, it is very important to listen to them carefully so that they feel comfortable and can open up.” Dr. Rama Kant Dawar said. He also added that ‘If the attitude changes, the views will change and cultivating the good within you is important so that evil does not dominate you.”
CLG (Citizen’s Liaison Group) Panipat Police Chairman Prem Girdhar, while giving a meaningful discussion about the conscious and subconscious mind, said that positive thinking gives us supernatural bliss, and enthusiasm. The strength, we get through optimism helps us to face new challenges. Mr. Girdhar also said that there is no word considered as “Problem” always try to find out the right solution and the word needs to be considered “Solution” for everything and you will not have any problem in the life just all solutions and solutions. The CLG team has been disposing off the complex cases of domestic violence from years. With their experiences they have learned that the ‘blame game’ is the key to any sort of domestic quarrel in a few days and the mere self-introspection can help in its elimination.
In our society, violence is bursting. It is present almost everywhere and nowhere is this eruption more intense than right behind the doors of our homes. Behind closed doors of homes across the globe, people are being tortured, beaten, raped and killed. It is happening in, towns, cities and in metropolitans as well. It is crossing all social classes, genders, racial lines and age groups. It is becoming a legacy being passed on from one generation to another or next generation.
The term used to describe this exploding problem of violence within our homes is Domestic Violence. This violence is towards someone who we are in a relationship with, be it a wife, husband, son, daughter, mother, father, grandparent or any other family member. It can be a male’s or a female’s atrocities towards another male or a female. Anyone can be a victim and a victimizer. This violence tends to explode in various forms such as physical, sexual or emotional.
Dr. Rama Kant Dawar also mentioned ‘’without the partner’s consent any sex falls in the category of rape and each partner should respect the other partner and live heavenly life in their own homes and raise their children in good manners providing them the best environment.’’ Talking about the topics of marital rapes and adultery. These are huge dark spots on the institution of marriage. Marital rapes are not even regarded as a ‘crime’ in most parts of the world. Accepting it to be the duty of the victim to satisfy the needs of the partner.
An infamous notion of marriage at first place, being the life long consent of the partner to fulfil each other’s sexual needs is very much followed by almost everyone. Being ignorant of partners consent to indulge into the act of love making turns it into a forceful act of lust. Domestic violence is also a product of the activism in women regarding marital rapes. As soon as women decide to take a step and raise their voice against the forceful desires of men, the men tend to control them via physical abuse or mental humiliation.
In many parts of the world the concept of ‘arranged marriages’ is practiced, where the bride and groom don’t even have a proper courtship period before they are supposed to live together and share the same bed. On the so called ‘first night’ the bride is supposed to surrender to the needs of her partner, the whole concept is shallow and baseless and is just another form of rape but disguised. Many web series have been launched and released in order to stop this practice and aware these women on how they can always say ‘no’.
The seminar also reflected on the need to be more of a listener than a speaker. Dr. Rama kant Dawar explained that the main cause of any domestic disruption is that everyone wants to speak, and no one wants to listen at the first place. He also further added ‘’a meaningful silence is always better than meaningless words’’ to avoid the domestic disputes and violence and it can resolve (the silence) the issues that the family is facing. Dr. Dawar also made the management to focus upon a curriculum that teaches the students life values and morality ‘’ a curriculum should be designed not only to make a scholar but a complete human being, with moral values and civility. A civil man would always respect the space of others and try not to trespass it, violate or exploit it.’’ ‘’Educating students regarding anger management and peaceful living are as important as any other academic subjects, he added.’’
The consequences of domestic violence adversely affect the individuals and the society. The cases which come out in open might have both positive and negative effects. Foremost affect is directly on the child. Children either become entirely distinctive and secluded or might adopt and imitate aggressive behaviour persisting in the family. The abuser also, might not feel guilty and rather turn out to be more explosive towards the victim due to consequential public humility. On the brighter side, talking about such issues also inspire and motivate the victims to take a step against this atrocity. Principal of the school sir Rajbeer also in-lighted students regarding the importance of spiritualism in life to follow a path of dignity and sincerity. ‘’In order to achieve peace and calm, spirituality is must to be practiced’’, the principal said.
The in-office principal Mr. Ranga welcomed the guests and echoed the words of Dr. Dawar, Mr. Girdhar and other speakers and mentioned that he respects his spouse and helps her in the house taking care of the things including cooking, cleaning and other things that a house needs and was applauded by the listeners. Everyone praised the Panipat police’s efforts towards the resolving family disputes by CLG and its chairman Mr. Girdhar.
The topics such as domestic violence, gender-typing, mental-illness, marital rapes, etc are of grave relevance. In order to maintain peaceful coexistence, it is required for self-help clubs and welfare communities to step forward and release seminars, podcasts and webinars to spread awareness and create activism among the generations.
School staff and teachers vowed to teach themselves and to their students not be become a victim of domestic violence and will talk to their parents and spouses that domestic violence is a dieses not an act and it needs to be stopped and they will not fight on this issue, but will talk to the family members in very nice manners and will talk to them of today’s seminar that how and what they have learned and how it effects the brains of the minors in the family, who witness the domestic violence.
